The typical College asian male

KCN Movie Review

2010-04-09T01:57:00.000-07:00

Freewrite - I wonder

2009-12-26T03:41:00.001-08:00

It's in that moment, when I see something that stirs my heart. The girl fighting cancer since she was born, the young teenager forced into sex slavery, or the homeless man around the corner that causes something to stir inside of me. Every action demands a response. In those moments, I have a choice. My heart cries out for the injustices in the world, but what do I do? Seeing an injustice demands a response, emitting questions into my conscious-stream of what am I going to do?

Maybe that's why people quickly change the channel when they see something awful on the news or turn the other cheek when they see the eyes of a homeless person zoning in. Have you ever looked eye to eye with a homeless man before? The need and desperation in their eyes. Yet it's so much easier to tune it out by putting on a set of earphones and turning the music louder on the iPod, pretending that you never saw the person. I knew you saw the person. The man was in plain sight on the street, holding his cup filled with change and a couple dollar bills.

And I know your heart breaks too when you see a person without legs struggling or hear stories about a 6 year old girl who's forced into prostitution. You grieve and say somebody should do something and then continue to live the hedonistic life that America feeds to you. Yea go ahead, fill yourself with more clothes, dreams of new cars and a big house. Continue to say that you're going to hook-up with the next b*tch and trophy her to your friends, making yourself look more manly. Meet your weekly quota of going to church on Sunday and occationally donating $10 to some charity, thinking that's all God demands of you.

I'm being judgemental and hypocritical because I am no different from you. I easily can tune out the problems of the world by hiding underneath a sea of Banana Republic clothing and my UCLA engineering degree. I can say that I'm doing something by obtaining a bi-weekly paycheck with a comma in it. I can say I'm significant by the car I drive or by the house I own, but still I know that something lingers inside of me. Something more lingers inside my heart, and I bet it lingers in yours too because the life you hide under is the path you didn't want to take, but took by convenience. The normal path that society treasures. Maybe your friends and parents are proud that you became the stereotypical doctor, lawyer, or engineer, but you long for more.

I wonder at the end of the day if I will live in a vicious cycle. Something that catches my eye gets drowned out by the superficiality of the world. I know it's tough and burdensome to take on the world's burdens. I wonder if I ever have the capacity or the compassion to even think about people who are suffering while I type on my Samsung netbook, lying in a cozy home.

Jesus sat with the leapers, the blind people, and the outcasts. He freaken ate with them and saw the crowds with compassion. And that's where the disconnect happens. What caused Jesus to do it? What was in His heart and mind to do the things He did? Why am I not like that?

And so I don't know where to go from here. I could continue living the life I'm living, pretending to be oblivious to the world or go do something about it. Lord, help me.

real moments

2009-11-22T01:09:00.001-08:00

Brian Orme asked me the other night,

“What makes your faith real?”

It was an interesting question, mainly because I could not rely on simply regurgitating what others have told me or could I look in a textbook for an answer. It was a personal question with an answer.

He was waiting for me to answer, as I nervously tried to muster up something that would satisfy his inquiries as well as mine. I recollected the memories of which God has spoken to me in my life and the transformations I saw in other people. I remembered my trip to Mexico when I learned what God’s love was. I pondered on my daily conversations I had with Him when I was at work or when I was walking home to class, worshiping Him. Yet, as I told my friend my answer, something still didn’t sit right with me. And it dawned on me

When was the last time I had a real encounter with Him?

I’m a very idealistic person when it comes to thinking and planning. I love to think of ways I could improve every facet of life. When I talk to other PC people, I always talk about how I want to encounter God in a more real way or how I could reach out to people. However, talking too much about theory does not really do much if it doesn’t lead to action.

I was dry
I was weary
I didn’t know why I believed the things I did besides what has been taught to me

To be honest, I wasn’t spending my alone time with God or reading the Bible. Mix that with sinful habits such as falling into lust among other things, I felt like there was a barrier between me and God. I knew I needed rest in Him. I’ve heard of the miracles. I’ve seen Him move, but I couldn’t picture what He could do in MY life. And honestly, I didn’t want Him to move in me anymore.

That night was the first night of Greenhouse, a Passion Church event that attempts to explain how simple church works. By now, I’m a simple church planting expert. I knew what a Person of Peace was, I’ve heard Neil Cole’s corny jokes and puns, and I’ve seen that Helm’s Deep clip from Lord of the Rings at least 3 times.

I asked myself, “What is the point of me being here?” I’ve seen this, yet nothing’s happened in my life. I haven’t created a person of peace. I haven’t created a simple church. Heck, underneath the veil, I’m a terrible person. At this point, I was thinking, “Maybe God will move in me at this conference, but then I will probably be jaded in a month and be at square one again.”

Brian then stopped me and asked another question

Why do you declare false truths as if they are going to happen?
Why not declare the truths that are in His word?

I meditated on that thought for a moment.
Yes I know what His word says, but I don’t believe it in my heart.

My friend asks me another question

What does Jesus think about you?

I began declaring it
I am a child of God
I am holy in His sight

However, I couldn’t get myself to say the next one
He is p-p-p-rooo…

I don’t know why, bu ti couldn’t believe it
He is p-p-prooooudd of m-mum-meee, even in my shame

I repeated it
He is p-proud of me even in my weakness

After claiming that, I felt some clearing. I felt God was speaking to me. However, there was some blockage. Brian and Jennifer proceeded to pray over me some more. Suddenly, an intense wave of shame was brought upon me that caused me to shake uncontrollably. The devil was trying to use shame as bondage from preventing me from hearing. Brian starting praying for me again, and I felt the chains unravel as I felt less burdensome. Finally, I was able to clearly encounter God without the baggage.

You’re my son whom I love
I’m proud of who you are

It felt like complete freedom in Him. God is my savior. I began declaring things of who God was. These things that I was declaring weren’t fabricated out of prior knowledge from a Sunday school teacher, but from what I’ve encountered personally with God. These were truths that were made REAL.

I thank God for moments like these.
I thank God for the truths in His word
I thank God for real encounters
I thank God that He is the same always and still relevant today

Lack of Updates

2009-10-29T16:09:00.001-07:00

Hey Guys,
Sorry for the lack of Vblog updates. My roommate, Jason Lee, has a dead laptop right now, so I'm letting him borrow mine. I don't have a webcam for the time being.

-Daniel

What is tafokints?

2009-10-18T19:58:00.001-07:00

Q&A 2

2009-10-08T15:27:00.000-07:00

1. What would you like to see happen this year? - Jason
2. How do you make money playing online poker? - Sam
3. How do you maintain your sexiness? - Andrew Hiah

-Keep posting questions guys

Habits and Pet Peeves

2009-10-07T20:58:00.000-07:00

VBlog

2009-10-07T14:49:00.001-07:00

Retreat

2009-10-01T15:07:00.001-07:00

In a dark room, a boy was sitting in the front row amidst of variety of people. he reminisced over the week’s work and wondered what had just happened. He knew he couldn’t finish his job. He was put into a losing battle and because of it, he felt anger, frustration, and disappointment. He was a perfectionist at heart, wanting every little detail pristine to his liking. The boy lamented at his failures and wondered if there was any relief to what he was feeling. He could not deliver his promises to the expectations of the group. In one sense, he didn’t live up to his commitment for his family.

Suddenly, he heard a voice saying, “look behind you”. Shrugging, he looked behind, much to his dismay; he saw something that captivated him. He saw his brothers and sisters behind him with their voices loud and hands lifted high, praising the Father. Hope gleamed from each of their eyes and love radiated from their bodies. There was a transformation that was occurring in each of them. Something he could not possibly explain. It was not his planning or logistics that led them to this. Something worked passed all the mistakes and errors. Upon this realization, he could not help, but let go of his mistakes and worship the King. His eyes were teary as he fell facedown to the floor in awe of the Father.

transparancy

2009-08-22T03:59:00.001-07:00

I remember in High School when my youth pastor would pick me up to go to church. In the car ride, he said something that, although simple, still profound me today. The saying goes that “people are like onions; they have layers”. Some people will think of the movie Shrek when they hear this quote, but it has much light to it. As people, we have different levels of vulnerability depending on who we’re with. The people we trust more will have access to the inner layers of our being while strangers will only get to see the outermost layer, which usually pertains to the superficial stuff such as sports or random news.
I had an interesting conversation with a person I grew up with who used to admire my openness to people. However, this person was also disappointed that I’ve gotten a little more guarded over the years and that I’ve become more superficial and fake in the way I express myself. I’ve been pondering how I’ve changed over the years and I have to agree that what this person said is very true. How I carry myself around people has significantly changed to the point where I have to constantly create this “successful” image about myself whether it be with family, friends, or people I’ve just met. I have to carry this reputation about myself to show that I’m valuable. I think it’s come to the point where I carry myself in guardedness subconsciously. Although some may say that I should carry myself well around people, this very need I have to carry a reputation is killing my soul on the inside.
I remember when I used to be so open about myself in high school at church. Back then, I was very much aware of my weaknesses. Although I was scared to admit some of my struggles and weaknesses to people in youth group, I didn’t care. I needed Jesus in my life more than anything and I guess that desperation is what caused me to be so open with my life problems. I was desperate and had that attitude that if God didn’t move now, then my life is screwed, so I guess that’s why I was so open. I didn’t care what people thought because my problems and my desperation for Jesus were much greater than my reputation.
I don’t know what it is that doesn’t allow me to become transparent. Maybe a lack of urgency or desperation? Or maybe the fact that I’ve “matured” in to the college life in which the culture does not allow or value for people to be open about their weaknesses. Also, I guess the life problems are much greater and more is at stake if people knew what I struggled with or went through. Reputation doesn’t matter much in high school or even as kids; however, as college people, it’s everything.
I’m kind of rambling, so I guess I’ll end on the thought that I need to read His word more. I think part of me doubts that if people, even my closest friends, knew who I was, then things would be different. I would be judged. I would have shame and disappointment placed on my head and my reputation of being an engineer at UCLA, a manager at Wetzel’s, a “successful” Christian, would all be gone. Part of that human response I guess morphs into my life with God. I know that God knows everything and I do read in his Word that He loves me and that nothing can separate me from His love. But the reality is, if I knew that God knew everything about me, I have that gut thought that He would abandon me. So I guess I’m back at square one, I need You Jesus more than anything right now.

Upcoming summer plans

2009-07-30T00:36:00.001-07:00

Summer is at the 1/2 way point for us quarter system college students. I wonder what to do

July 30 - Organic Church Fellowship Meeting
Aug 1 - Beach
Aug 14 - End of SAT teaching/Great America
Aug 16 - Fly back to LA
Sept 12 - Birthday/Possible Vegas Trip???

I need people to fill this schedule
I'm going to be going back to LA, probably working part time, researching, and studying for the GREs. However, I would also like to take this free time over the summer to chill with you guys who I don't see often.

Goals for Sess C
- Get 3 hours of studying for GREs per day on weekdays, 4 hrs combined on weekends
- Catch up with at least 2-3 people per week
- Work part time 15-20 hrs and hopefully train people to become SSS
- Research successfully (nothing bad)
- Pray at least 1 hr day/lead corporate prayer at least 1-2 times per week
- Read 2 books of the bible per week
- Catch up on Smash with people. Improve on Tech Skill
- Somehow clean the apartment (I heard the living room and kitchen are pretty bad)

i'm also very open to suggestions

Real encounters

2009-07-29T00:36:00.000-07:00

Because of Jenn's request, I have decided to update my blog.

"Real" Encounters

I have been out of LA and back in Cupertino for nearly 2 months. I enjoy aspects of being in Cupertino as well as being in LA. For one thing, I am significantly less busy back at home. My schedule at the beginning of summer was

7:45am Wake up/Get Ready
8:30-12:30 SAT Teaching
12:30-12am Nothing

After a while, the free time bored me. I couldn't possibly pray for 10 hours straight to be realistic. I gradually decided to pick up running as well as read some books. On a side note, I like CS Lewis as an apologetics writer. He's very straightforward in his writing style and produces solid examples to help visualize and portray what he's arguing. Also, I am tutoring Chemistry on the side and running at night with one of my good friends. Needless to say, I've gotten pretty active. However, I do really miss my Passion Church friends. I miss the times I can go up to someone and worship/jam the night away. I miss the times when we would pray for hours on end, meeting God face to face. I realize that I miss the "real" encounters that I had with God.

Granted, I do have much daily conversation with my Daddy whether it is during my drives around Cupertino or when I have some good alone time at Peet's Coffee. For the most part, my spiritual life is kind of stagnant. I currently attend GrX with my siblings on Sunday. I do not mean to bash GrX because I do believe God's work is being done in that church. However, I leave every Sunday with much dissatisfaction. We have worship and we hear a sermon every week. I do like that they incorporate a 5 minute prayer time during the service, but I feel like I'm watching a show every time I am there. I learn a good moral and listen to some good music. Is the church supposed to be like this? What worries me is that the general American Christian population expects that this is what spirituality/Christianity/church is all about. Man, I miss meeting God in real moments. It strikes me that when I read in the Bible of people encountering Jesus or God how much people's lives change.

Moses's encounter with God at the burning bush, forever changed him from a simple man to a man that led a nation to freedom
Paul on his road to Damascus encounters Jesus/God and has his life change forever
Mary upon meeting Jesus has her life changed forever

These encounters are real. If I learned anything, it is that the God of today is the same as He is yesterday. I believe in a God that still has encounters with people today. I don't believe real encounters with Him are pertinent only to the Old Testament or to the times when Jesus still lived. With that in mind, I don't get why people don't have the mindset of wanting to encounter Him at church. Instead, we settle for less than what God wants to pour out by having programs and services that don't really do much, bluntly said. I miss the times when we would gather and pray with the expectation that we were going to encounter the real livng God. We would not stop praying until something happened. It was in those moments though that God would show up and amaze and transform us in many powerful ways. I wonder if my busy-ness and my priorities in my own life also prevent me from having those real encounters with God. My spiritual life feels dry, I need more of you Jesus.

Inadequacy and dating (in the PC context)

2009-07-04T01:14:00.001-07:00

Sometimes I wonder in the midst of my brokenness, why me God? Why have you chosen to die for me? Why did you choose me to know so much about Your goodness and Your love? Why are you handing authority to me as Your hands and feet when You know my weaknesses and my sins? You know me in my low points, yet You want me to be a testimony of Your glory? How does that work, God? I’m confused.

In these moments, I ponder again and again why God moves the way he does. I picture God to be perfect and flawless. Once again, those are attributes of God. In these realizations, I do not want to taint or mess up anything about my perfect Father and King. Whether the task maybe doing ministry in church or trying to explain how awesome He is to people, I am worried and scared that I’m not the “right” person for the job and that I will screw up.

I grew up as a clutz. I remember the times when I would drop food everywhere and have people scream to me on how unreliable I was. I had people belittle me constantly saying that I did not hold up to some certain standard whether it was following in the footsteps of my brother or failing to meet expectations in general.

God’s funny sometimes. I have to constantly be reminded by Him that my failures are okay. In scripture, He says that He is actually made strong in my weakness and that we are a working masterpiece.

I write this to not get pity; rather I wonder if this mindset of inadequacy seeps into how we view members of the opposite sex within Passion Church (PC). Overall, I feel a strong sense of admiration towards everyone in PC. Never before have I seen a group of people who are so passionate for the Lord. I have learned much about many aspects of our Father through PC. With the women of PC, I have a strong sense of respect. They have valued the Lord so much in their life, choosing Him as their first love. I’m not saying that PC people are perfect, but they sure are amazing.

Anyway, I wonder if when a person does have feelings of love/romance towards the other gender, then feelings of inadequacy come in, preventing a person from pursuing his or her crush.

“I want to date her, but I’m not good enough”

Okay, maybe a person might not outright say that. Let’s change it

“I want to date her, but I’m not ready to date her. Her priority is with God. I do not want to screw up her relationship with God. She is so awesome and talented too, but I’m worried that I might distract her from her relationship with God.”

This is more subtly said in the minds of PC people (in my opinion). I think one of the reasons people don’t want to date is because of the fear that they are not good enough for their crushes. The feeling of inadequacy seeps in, trying to justify and prevent romance from every happening between pairs of very qualified people.

Not only do you have to encourage and edify the body, but at moment’s time take a step back and look at the mighty works that God does in your life. God moves inside of each one of us in so many awesome ways. Sometimes, we tend to forget that when God is moving on other people marvelously, He is also doing a mighty work in us, whether we believe it or not.

What are your thoughts?

NBA FINALS Predictions

2009-06-04T02:13:00.000-07:00

Yes, it is 2:15 am
Yes, I have a final tomorrow, but I want to post my predictions before the first game.

I'll start off with the keys to success for both teams

1. Andrew Bynum
He has not been nearly as good or as effective in the playoffs as we expected. However, if he puts up 25 minutes of solid minutes with good defense, that's all the Lakers need from him. If Bynum can't guard Howard one on one, you can effectively call him useless because that's the only thing he'll be good for. The Lakers are a lot more effective on offense, going small-ball, with Gasol as the center and having wing-men who can shoot the 3. If he can get 10pts-10reb and maybe a couple blocks, that's going to help significantly.

2. Which role players are going to show up?
The role players we saw in game 6 vs. Denver or
The role players that haven't done anything all series long.

3. Lamar Odom
Will he grow some kahunas or not? He has potential. Everyone writes about it. He has shown glimpses of it. Will he unleash it in the finals or cave in like last year against the Celtics?

Orlando Magic
1. Get Dwight involved early and often.
I don't see anyone on the Lakers sans maybe Bynum guarding him effectively. If he's commanding double-teams early, expect to see the Magic have a shooting spree from the 3-pt line

2. Take advantage of the mismatches with Lewis/Hedo
I can't imagine what type of lineup, the Lakers can throw that will efffectively contain Dwight, Hedo, and Lewis. Gasol can't hang on the perimeter against Hedo and Lewis and is too small to guard Dwight. It's going to be interesting to see what lineup Phil pulls to guard this team.

3. How much of Jameer will we see?
Any remotely fast point guard has terrorized the Lakers this season. Fisher is too slow to contain any penetrating point guard. Fisher made Aaron Brooks look like Tony Parker. If Jameer can play remotely decent, this may cause many problems. I don't think Farmer or Fisher can contain him. Hopefully, Shannon Brown will be played in the rotation more. Has anyone wondered besides me why this guy isn't getting the minutes he deserves?

Lakers in 6 is my prediction

G1: Lakers win
G2: Lakers win
G3: Magic win
G4: Lakers win
G5: Magic win
G6: Lakers win

2009-05-11T23:54:00.001-07:00

You see me in my sin
You see me in my weakness
Yet You still love me
You are made strong in my weakness

Thanks

Must keep pushing in

Yet I still choose you

2009-05-10T00:58:00.000-07:00

Today, had me through a bottle of emotions.
Jealousy
Pain
Shame
Rejection

So hard to deal with, yet I will continue to worship and choose You first.

2009-04-28T02:58:00.000-07:00

sometimes i wonder if i'm too competitive for my own good.

I am lovesick

2009-04-17T02:23:00.000-07:00

I want more of You, Jesus

I'm tied down by these obligations, thoughts, restraints. Set me free, so that I can see You more.

Psalm 27:4
One thing I have asked from the LORD, that I shall seek: That I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, To behold the beauty of the LORD And to meditate in His temple.

Man, let that be the reflection of my life. Let my life come down to one thing, may I gaze upon YOUR beauty oh Lord. I'm addicted, it's better than anything. The reaffirming love He has for me. I fail, You know my heart and deepest desires, yet You love me the same. This is the very reason I am the way I am. I know I don't live up to Your standards, Jesus, yet You still love and forgive me. How can I not walk in freedom and do the same and give mercy like Jesus did. This is why I'm so nice and compassionate. I try to give freely, as I've received freely. It's because of what Jesus did for me. Nothing else. I don't live for myself. I live for Him.

God's so good. The last week has been crazy. Call me if you want to hear about it
Baptisms, Open-airing, Worship, House of Prayer, Tongues, too crazy. He is good

-Daniel

Thank You Jesus

2009-04-12T01:56:00.000-07:00

This song has been stuck in my head for a while.
Amazed - Desperation Band

Lord, I am AMAZED by You. Thank You so much for lifting the cross. We worship a living God who ressurected, not a dead one. All glory, praise and honor go to You.

I had my first ever seeker bible study with Anita's friend Raymond, Anita, and Jason (my roommate). Man, Raymond is so close to repenting and accepting Jesus. The questions he was coming up with weren't argumentative, but came from a heart that really wanted to know truth. Man, the questions he was coming up with were crazy. The holy spirit imparts wisdom on everyone and I do believe that it's not through my own knowledge, revelation, or wisdom that people see God, but rather it's the Spirit that speaks through me and uses the Bible to speak to people, Christian or non-christian.

We went over 1 John with Raymond, the verse that sticks out is this.

1 John 1:9
9If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

Our God is faithful and just when we repent and turn away from our sins. He WILL purify us and make us righteous in His sight. Jesus's death on the cross was the atoning sacrifice that cleanses us from our sin and allows us fellowship with the Father. This is the message of the weekend, of Good Friday, and Good Easter:

We were dead in our sin with no hope or life, but God provided us a way to Him, through Jesus Christ, his only son, who died on the cross on our behalf in love and mercy.

Will you believe?

Engineer

2009-02-04T16:44:00.000-08:00

I'm posting something, which means probably one thing. Midterms are coming up! Gasp! I can't believe it's already 5th week. The quarter has been going ridiculously fast with Chem E problem sets being due like every other day admidts the oral reports, written reports, and other stuff that needs to be done. Needless to say, I've been busy. Boelter computer lounge (where I am right now) is my 2nd home, no joke. It's freezing in here by the way. I need to remind myself to bring a sweater even when it's hot outside.

I'm glancing at my homework that has the score 47/80 out on the top, but yet I'm not too disappointed, surprisingly. I've been refraining myself from going to TA office hours because I still feel and believe that getting spoon fed the solution causes me to lose my natural instincts and drive to actually learn the material. I want to be the best chemical engineer ever, which is a paradox because I'm doing things that are preventing me from getting the best grades possible (last minute finnese on hw sets, struggling and wasting time trying to figure stuff out), but it's all worth it. I see people who are getting the right answers but still have no clue on the natural setups and approaches to doing problems.

I think the long hours are finally paying off though. I've been reading alot more for classes (rewritting lecture notes, reading the book, doing hw set problems purely from scratch). Teh cool thing is even though I've been struggling with classes, things are coming together. My recent hw set that I turned in was done solely with instincts. I'm hoping that I get good enough with this heat transfer and thermochem stuff that I can eventually teach an ordinary person the theory behind it.

Valentine's day is coming up and I think i'm celebrating it with Passion Church peeps, which is always cool. I wonder if it is korean tradition to eat ja jang myun when you're single on valentine's day. IT sure seems strange, and my parents have no clue what I'm talking about when I mention about it. Nonetheless, I'm eating jajang myun (hopefully at Dragon, my favorite new korean-chinese restaurant) and get to actch up with people I haven't seen in a long time.

And if you didn't infer from the paragraph above, yes, I'm still single. I don't think I really care at this point to be honest. The only way I could realistically have a girlfriend if she was in Chemical Engineering, but I don't really find any Chem-E's attractive (note: sorry to any Chem-E's that are reading this). I guess my current status is "open, but not actively looking"

Times with God over the past month have been good. I've been much more mindful of Him and just commuting and praising Him throughout the course of the day. I do need to go into the word more though. Rock and I have been reading Deuteronomy for the past couple weeks, which initially was zzzz, but the book is starting to come alive.

Deuteronomy 6:20-26
20 In the future, when your son asks you, "What is the meaning of the stipulations, decrees and laws the LORD our God has commanded you?" 21 tell him: "We were slaves of Pharaoh in Egypt, but the LORD brought us out of Egypt with a mighty hand. 22 Before our eyes the LORD sent miraculous signs and wonders—great and terrible—upon Egypt and Pharaoh and his whole household. 23 But he brought us out from there to bring us in and give us the land that he promised on oath to our forefathers. 24 The LORD commanded us to obey all these decrees and to fear the LORD our God, so that we might always prosper and be kept alive, as is the case today. 25 And if we are careful to obey all this law before the LORD our God, as he has commanded us, that will be our righteousness."

I think for people who have encountered God and are Christians, they can reflect on the moments where God has rescued them out of what they used to be. I think this particular passage hits me alot because whenever I'm in a faith crisis moment in which I'm struggling with the thoughts of leaving God altogether, I'm always reminded of what God has delivered me from and what He has done in my life. Because of the past history with God, no matter how far I'm away, I can never abandon Him. Even as I read this passage, I'm reminded of my past, not because of the fact is painful, but because of the miracles of what God has done in mine.

I still remain faithful to the calling that God has for me. I don't know what that particularly looks like right now, but I'm ready.

2008-12-26T00:53:00.001-08:00

Servant and King
Rescued this World
This is our God

Danielisms

2008-12-25T02:08:00.000-08:00

So my internet has been shaky and I assumed something was wrong with my router as it would not recognize my LAN cable on my laptop. When I looked at my network connections information, it kept saying "network cable disconnected" making me confused as the cable was plugged in to my laptop. So I try to use my wireless, but that gives me loads of problems assigning me an IP address (many many laptops connecting wirelessly to the same router causes many problems). That fails, so I try to steal my neighbors wireless via his/her unsecured network. I try playing poker (not a good idea with unstable connections) and I disconnect repeatedly. After 30 mins of disconnectfest, I check my cable connections.

There's a blue cable that is connected to my laptop and there is a blue cable connected to the router, so it should work right?

However, to my stupidity. there are two blue cables that are connected like this

Cable 1: Computer<-------> nothing

Cable 2: Nothing<-------->router

So in otherwords, the cable was never connected properly

Oh Daniel, why do you do these things

Why Party

2008-12-14T19:24:00.000-08:00

I guess recently I’ve been more on the “scene” with parties and what not to chill with some of my closest buddies. Some people reading this blog will react,

“Gasp, no way. Daniel is way ‘too Christian and religious” to go party and drink. He doesn’t know how to have fun”

Anyway, my reaction to parties is simply, “that’s it?” not necessarily because I’m against taking drugs and consuming large (note: I said large, not any) doses of alcohol, but because they (parties) are way blown out of proportion and nothing is different than hanging out, other than the fact there are drugs and alcohol. When did the definition of fun change to how many parties one attends? Who thought of that? Nonetheless, I took a couple shots, and had a good time, but for different reasons.

I think the appeal to parties is that it gathers people and puts people in an atmosphere where they can unwind and distress and be with their friends. How else can people chill with their friends past 11pm in the city of Cupertino? There are not many options especially if you are under 21. You can go to get some PMT, but that closes at 11pm. You can go Top Café/Denny’s or w/e but not everyone wants to eat every night like that.

I guess what irks me most is the mentality that people have if I don’t go to parties or necessarily chug 10 shots every time I go. People shrug me off as, “Oh meet the ultra-religious guy” in a very condescending tone and then these same people try to boast about how crazy they can go with taking shots. Granted, I shouldn’t take other people’s opinions or view of me highly because my identity isn’t in what people think of me.

Honestly, though how are people so superficial, that the only thing that they can say or brag about themselves is how many parties they go to or how many times they’ve taken hard drugs? There’s not much more beyond the surface when I try to dig deeper.

To sum it up, I don’t think parties are necessarily a bad thing and neither is alcohol (in moderation). I don’t automatically assume that everyone is “bad” or superficial if they go to a party. I choose not to drink alcohol because I think it tastes bad and I don’t like not having control of my body. I choose not to party all the time because I believe that fun can be made without having alcohol and drugs everywhere.

A “oops” moment

2008-12-06T23:30:00.000-08:00

A day after the dreadful Texas-UCLA Basketball game, I was a bit sad about how the UCLA team is doing, but they’re going to mature as the year goes on I think. Anyway, I’m at work making some sinful cinnamon pretzels for a customer. As I’m adding the piles of sugar onto the pretzel, I was talking about the Lakers with my coworker and how they’ve been winning so much. I jokingly blurt out, “Do you know who’s not winning right now?” I was hoping that my coworker would blurt out “UCLA” and laugh with me, but as I asked the question, thoughts suddenly came up

The guy behind me who I’m making the pretzel for is really tall and has UCLA sports gear on. Crap, he’s over 6’6”, he’s a basketball player. Oh crap, I hope my coworker doesn’t answer the question.

Fortunately, my coworker was smart enough to realize this and said “The Clippers!” (who are like 3-15?). So I serve Drew Gordon his pretzel and he leaves.

I proceed to thank my friend for being smart. We laugh about the situation and continue on with our lives.

Question of the Week

2008-11-02T20:47:00.000-08:00

Living on the college campus, I notice how people like to advocate for equal rights and fairness for everyone. In doing so, we often are very concerned about other people's feelings and try to remain politically correct as much as possible. For some, it's become and ideology that's so strong that if anyone else undermines this philosophy, he or she is seen as narrowminded and inferior to others. This ideal is so strong in the college culture that people do not seem to be able to formulate their own opinion in fear of offending other people. The question of the week is this: have cultural relativism, the need to appease everybody, and political correctness lead to a bunch of mindless individuals who cannot formulate their own opinions?

Being “Completely” satisfied by God?

2008-10-27T03:24:00.001-07:00

Question of the day
There is a saying that goes that if a person is completely satisfied by God then regardless of circumstance and what’s going around the person, the person will feel satisfied? However, can this state truly be reached? Let’s say hypothetically one is completely satisfied by God. In fact, he/she is so satisfied that he/she wants everyone else to receive the satisfaction from God that he/she has received. However, with this desire, is it,
a.) A God-given desire?
My next question I present is if let’s say he/she sees that other’s aren’t receiving the fullness of God and the satisfaction.
b.) What would be the bibilical way to react?
Where does the balance come in for us as Christians who have met, encountered, and live a life with Christ to say “God I love You so much, but I want you to be known to my friends too because you’re just that awesome” Does this mean one doesn’t think God just for him/herself is good enough. Is God not sufficient?

Honestly, and that’s where I wonder. It’s like I know God’s sovereign and everything, but it’s like going to sleep on a full satisfied stomach while your fellow man is starving and famished going to sleep. How is that really fair? And to top it off, to have God say, “Don’t look at that circumstance, but be satisfied solely by me”
God, why won’t You come and manifest your power to Your creation?

Dyed my hair

2008-10-01T20:12:00.000-07:00

There ya go

belac

2008-09-29T22:23:00.000-07:00

I don’t know the exact moment in particular when I first met Caleb Lin or when we became good friends for that matter. The first memory of Caleb came from Sam when we were having a lunch together when I was just getting into PC and Sam was talking about how good looking and amazing Caleb was (no homo). Nonetheless, we became good friends despite the fact that I knew very little about him and he knew very little about me besides what goes around on the gossip vine.
Early Impressions (I think he was leading worship for PC1 when everyone still went to PC1)
1. Wow he’s good looking
2. He’s good looking
3. He has the voice of angels
4. He lives with purpose

As one of my coworkers said, “Caleb has really soulful eyes. There was something always different about him”
And I agree with the latter part, wholeheartedly (sorry, you don’t have soulful eyes). There is something different about Caleb Lin. One big memory that rocked me so hard was when we were all playing basketball at Wooden. Mike Han had just injured his ankle. While everyone passively didn’t know what to do, Caleb just commanded that we pray for Mike and his ankle, even amidst playing with non-Christians. It hit me so hard because he was one of the first people I’ve ever met that lived out his faith in God outside the church and in the world.
Another thing that always stood out about Caleb is that he always redirected people to purpose. I’m pretty sure everyone’s heard a pep talk from Caleb talking about what a prayer meeting or worship night should be about and we even make fun of him with impressions. But seriously, he’s a guy that will live purposefully in the things he does.
Girls (and guys) draw near to him not just because of his looks or voice, but because of his raw passion for the Lord in everything he does. Not only does he love God, but he’s a lover of people. I’ve seen countless times where people would be so sad or emo and have a 1-2 hour talk with Caleb and be happy in the end. I know it’s happened for me many times.

You don’t know how much I look up to you. You’re like an older brother to me.

Have a great one, Belac

King Samuel

2008-09-25T02:13:00.001-07:00

The Protector

The Multitasker

The Cook

The ???

So this is a post about Sam and how awesome he is. Tell him that the next time you meet him.

Blessed =)

2008-09-19T04:07:00.001-07:00

91908

Wow, I haven’t posted in over a month on my blog, so I guess I have to post something now. Nevertheless, it’s been a hectic past week moving back into the apartment living with 6 other guys. (Andrew, Daniel , Jason, David, Brian, Chris) and living inside for the first time. What can I say? It’s going to be an awesome year with David, Alan, Jason, and, later, Mats. We had crazy furniture from other people in our apartment, so it was surprisingly really messy, but not dirty. Let me elaborate.

You know you can have a lot of stuff lying around, but like overall still be considered clean? That’s how our apartment was for the past week. We had like 4 fridges, 10 chairs, extra tables, mattress pads in addition to what was already in the apartment. Even with all that stuff, I would consider the apartment clean. The floor was vacuumed, furniture dusted, and not much crap lying hidden beneath furniture.

Where was I? Oh yea, so what’s been going on this week in LA.

-A lot of spontaneous outings with the roomies.
-I dyed my hair red (or at least tried to)
-Got a new 37 inch Samsung HDTV with a new stand
-Started work again

It was also my birthday last Friday, which was freaken amazing. It wasn’t really just a birthday, it was moreso a birthweek. I’ve had many birthday dinners with siblings, friends, and just chill nights. In addition, Thomas wong (birthday buddy) planned a fantastic ATV outing (no pictures sorry…) in Pismo Beach. It was the first time I ever went ATVing, but it was sooo fun. I definitely recommend it. Oh, and if you haven’t heard, Andrew Hiah totally ate it, ATVing. Ask him for the story, and DLin for the pictures =).
My birthweek was awesome.

Thanks

- Everybody who facebooked/texted/called me
- People who came to Pismo Beach to go ATVing/bonfiring
- Thomas for organizing ATVing and being an awesome birthday buddy
- Mike Han and Mike Leong for the lovely French dinner outing
- My sis and bro for their gifts and BJ’s outing
- Parents for card
- Anita and Caleb for their Bday Cards
- God for being continually faithful and blessing me continuously

The Clingable Lover

2008-07-07T03:20:00.001-07:00

Sometimes in my self-imposed rubrics of life, I judge and perceive people as “good”, “worthy”, and other sorts of labels onto people. It’s a natural instinct, inevitably. I perceive myself as “Christian”, “valued” and other adjectives based on my works and accomplishments, which includes how well I’m doing in classes, reading my Bible, and making money. At moments, I peak as everything seems to go well and I feel like I’m right with God and everyone else, but when everything else fades, all self-worth disappears.

I use my self-imposed value system on myself and consider myself worthless. Friends shouldn’t want me because I do not “truly” love them. Family shouldn’t want me because they’re spending money on tuition only to see me not doing so well in classes. Waking up in the morning to hours of work and school, I sometimes just wish I would just fade away so I wouldn’t have to live such a meaningless life. Yet, despite it all, despite failing everything and looking like a loser, there’s a lover that keeps pursuing me. He’s God.

And it’s just killing me. God, why love me? I fail. I disobey. I don’t want You in my life anymore. I don’t even know if I can even be a Christian anymore. I don’t want any more altar calls, rededications, or people praying over me. God, You know I’m going to fall. You know I’m going to turn away. You know I’m going to sin.
God, I’m a stock that’s falling. I’m an investment that has shady history and no implications of change. I’m that friend that backstabs you repeatedly. I’m that guy that is ashamed to tell others of how great You are even when You repeatedly show acts of love and mercy. I’m a Pharisee.

God, You want me to come back, but do I want to come back?

The Obligatory Summer Blog Post

2008-06-29T23:40:00.000-07:00

Man I haven’t written in this thing in forever
Anyway, so summer is here finally, although it doesn’t feel like summer at all besides maybe the hot weather and the sun beaming its yellow-y goodness on me every morning. Nonetheless, I do work a 35 hour week at Wetzel’s and am taking a class. All in all, I’m still incredibly busy.

As for life updates, there hasn’t been anything too exciting. I went to Erika and Tyler’s wedding like two weeks ago which was incredibly great. Some friend and I had dinner to celebrate Mike Han’s birthday. I went to see Wanted.

I think I’m overworking myself currently and I hope that doesn’t take its toll during the fall. I burnt out once again during the spring in the academic realm. It’s kind of funny how I get the best grades during the fall and falter during the spring, whereas for other people it’s the opposite. Maybe tougher curves? Not too sure…

35-40hr/week at work + class + 20-25hr/week pokering = dead tired Daniel

I’m also still debating over whether I should stay for Session C, not to take classes, but simply to work. I feel bad that the lease for my apartment starts in August, and that by not being there, I’m wasting my parent’s money. On the otherhand, I do miss home very very much. Thoughts?

Blessed in chaos

2008-05-29T02:09:00.001-07:00

Sometimes, amidst everything, school, work, studying, and ministry, we get lost with our relationship with God. Questions come up, what am I doing? What’s my purpose? Even, the condemning questions and thoughts, “God, I’m trying and I’m striving, but I’m still a failure. I’m not seeing anything happen” My heart aches wrestling with issues of insecurities and doubts, trying to win over God’s affection back to me.

Then He simply whispers in the stillness, “I love you for who you are and nothing else”.

Everything else suddenly fades.

Thank you God

Jeremy Camp - I Still Believe

“Scattered words and empty thoughts
seem to pour from my heart.
I've never felt so torn before.
Seems I don't know where to start.
But it's now that I feel Your grace fall like rain
From ev'ry fingertip, washing away my pain

'Cause I still believe in Your faithfullness.
'Cause I still believe in Your truth.
'Cause I still believe in Your holy Word.
Even when I don't see, I still believe.

Though the questions still fog up my mind
with promises I still seem to bear,
Or even when answers slowly unwind,
It's my heart I see you prepare.
But it's now that I feel your grace fall like rain
From ev'ry fingertip, washing away my pain.

Well, the only place I can go is into Your arms
Where I throw to You my feeble prayers.
Well, in brokenness I can see that this was Your will for me.
Help me to know that You are near, yeah,

'Cause I still believe
'Cause I still believe
'Cause I still believe
'Cause I still believe
I still believe.

tired

2008-05-13T02:08:00.001-07:00

Free write

Gahhhh, hate writing these freewrites because it means that I’m probably in an emo, pensive mood. Honestly, that’s probably the only time I ever write these posts. It’s been a weird stretch of days, lots of DOTA and just being busy with stuff/obligations. It feels weird that I’ve felt like I’ve been in a dark hole today.

The perpetual cycle comes again. Am I hitting depression once again? Nah, it can’t be. I thought I got over and conquered depression last time I fought it. There is no way I can be bipolar. There is no freakin way I can be bipolar. I already won this battle. Isn’t depression all spiritual? Maybe, my spiritual being is messed. After all, I feel the physical, mental, and spiritual side of a person all connect. If one is bad, the rest suffer as well.

Well then what is it? Crying in film class today for no reason seemed random. Being in a black hole at work can’t be random either. There has to be a cause to it. What is it, God? Have I been so busy that I forgotten how to even feel? How to even live? I don’t even know the last time I’ve dedicated a day to reflect upon myself and God. I need to read the bible more.

What do I live for? I mean really. I can go by the cliché Christian answer and say, “to know God and make God known.” That doesn’t seem to drive me though these days. Has it ever? I seem to drift through life, lacking purpose. I lack that spunk, the motivation that kept me flowing through classes. I haven’t studied well and my discipline is lacking.

Once again, what am I living for? I don’t know, how to answer that question. The more I reflect on that question, the more anxious and sad I get. What am I doing here? Is it simply that I am motivated by fear of disappointing others? Or the fact that I need to prove myself in whatever I do whether it be school, video games, or even living the “Christian” life.

I didn’t make 411team for PC, but whatever. I don’t think I’m qualified anyway. Maybe I need to come to terms that it’s okay to not be on the 411 team. After all, that’s not my identity, yet it’s so hard to because I know if I were a bit more “spiritual” or “evangelistic” or started 20 churches, I’d definitely be on the team, but I’m not.

“Gah, stop it Daniel! Your life is not dictated by what you do, remind yourself of that. “

Sigh, what do I do again? So much head knowledge, but so little heart knowledge.

Let’s go back to square one

Here I am, it’s me Daniel, your imperfect son. I want to know you again, Lord

Everyone Sleeps

2008-05-11T23:15:00.001-07:00

Aftermath of a weekend of training

NBA Playoff Picks

2008-04-19T13:59:00.001-07:00

These were made yesterday (4/18/08) btw
West
1. LA Lakers vs. 8. Nuggets (4-1)
4. Jazz vs. 5. Rockets (4-2)
3. Spurs vs. 6. Suns (2-4)
2. Hornets vs. 7. Mavericks (4-3)

East
1. Celtics vs. 8. Hawks (4-0)
2. Pistons vs. 7. 76ers (4-1)
3. Magic vs. 6. Raptors (4-2)
4. Cavaliers vs. 5. Wizards (4-2)

Looking back, Springing forward

2008-03-30T16:49:00.001-07:00

Here comes my reflection post regarding winter quarter, which is usually divided into subsections.

School

This quarter was the first quarter I took upper division classes along with my regular classes. In the beginning, Chemistry 113A was overwhelming me with the amount of work it had. Gradually, I adjusted to the excessive workload (20+ hours per week!!). I had to give up some fun things to study for the class. Unfortunately, a lack of good sleep for round one of midterms led me to make numerous silly mistakes in Math and Chemistry. However, I was able to pull my Chemistry grade up with solid problem set and midterm grade scores. For math, I ended up in the top ten percentile on the final, but the score was not high enough to raise my overall grade to an A- I originally wanted. I’m still waiting on my Chemistry grade. As for Lingusitics, the class was fairly straightforward. A lot of memorizing in the beginning, but the class became easier as time went on. Extra credit certainly helped.

Overall, I feel mostly satisfied with my focus in school.

Effort: A-

Math 33B: B

Chemistry 113a: ???

Linguistics 20: A-

Poker

In the beginning, I was hitting a hot streak in poker as my previous graphs/pictures would show you. Later in the quarter, due to the excessive school work, I gave up poker to spend more time in my studies, only playing a few time a week (<5>

Overall:

Effort: B

Results: +$1400

Fitness

Uh, no comment… (lol)

I gained mucho weight during the last few weeks due to finals stress and procrastination. I didn’t care what I ate and I stopped running with Jason this quarter. I threw up after trying to sprint one lap during week 10 and gained 4 lbs.

Overall

Effort: F

Results: +4lbs

Gaming

This quarter was an interesting time for gaming. I played in the All-Hill smash tournament with Aesis and won the grand prize ($50 gift card). I also played in the UCLA Monthly V tournament only to lose early in the doubles and singles tournament. It was quite disappointing as I lacked discipline and patience in playing my opponents which costed me the set. The quarter ended with the Brawl Gamespot tournament, which I got 1^st in and won a trophy/invitation. My smash game is kind of getting worse as I feel that I am less confident in my reads and becoming more indecisive in what to do against better opponents.

Overall

Effort: B+

Results: $50 giftcard/trophy

Relationship with God

I had my fair share of ups and downs in my walk with God, starting with the highest of highs. I was really disciplined in reading the bible and spending time in prayer. Then, certain things came along early that had me struggle with loving God with all my heart no matter what circumstances hit me. I skipped church a few times to avoid interactions with people. I like PC very much because of the fact that you have nowhere to hide and you have to share what’s going on life. Towards the end of the quarter, I had a hard time distinguishing between conviction and condemnation which led me to a very awkward troubling few weeks. Thankfully, through people and prayer, I was able to discern what the difference was and be free! My relationship with God is not ever perfect or really disciplined, but it’s a work in progress. Hopefully, I’m able to ground myself more in God instead of merely what others say about Him.

Overall

Effort: B

Results: ??? (I don’t really think there’s a result I could really write?)

Thank you guys (you know who you are) for making the quarter awesome

Killer Drive

2008-03-13T17:09:00.000-07:00

3/13/08

Killer drive, a term I say casually to people, who, ironically, don't know what it means, so here's my Daniel's dictionary entry.

Killer Drive - noun - an academic drive in which a person strives to not only do better, but destroy, the class competition.

Anyway, so on paper, the killer drive sounds like it could be an awesome thing to have, especially if one is struggling with academics. I had the killer drive last year during the fall quarter (2006). I came into UCLA, extra cocky, thinking that I was the best student at Chemistry.

So I took Chemistry 20A in the Fall with Scerri. During lecture, I laughed and mocked whoever would ask the teacher questions in lecture because everything seemed so trivial and basic, material-wise. One girl in particular would ask at least 2 questions in lecture and at least 10 per discussion section, no joke. A part of me would die on the inside whenever she asked a question.

The first midterm came along, and I got a 41.5/50. Not bad by any means. The class average was roughly a 34/50. However, that same girl, who asked many questions, got a 45/50. This is when the killer drive officially kicked in to my system.

Yes, the killer drive.

After that moment of glancing at her midterm score, I thought to myself, "She's so much dumber than I am. I have to destroy her on the next midterm along with everyone else. I'm the smartest guy in this class. There is no way this inferior competition can come close to my Chemistry knowledge."

From then on, I read the section readings at least 3 times and practiced a ridiculous number of problems. I punished myself vigorously if I made a mistake whether it might be a Significant Figure error, SI unit error, or a calculation error. If I made even one mistake, I would make myself do 5 more problems until I made sure I got it right. Every night, that girl's paper would vividly appear on the white ceiling of my dorm room and I would think, "I can't let her beat me again."

The next midterm came along and I scored a 58/61 on it with the average being a 40-45ish. I think it was one of the top scores of that midterm, but I still wasn't satisfied. -2 for forgetting a fact and -1 for a calculation error??? "That's ridiculous", I thought to myself. The 95 merely just appeased my killer drive, but I needed to get a perfect on the final to satisfy my drive.

For the final, I wrote the first 80 pages of my course reader, word for word, until I realized there were more efficient ways of studying. Nonetheless, the image of losing to an "inferior" student still echoed in my mind.

Here's where the negative side effects of the killer drive come in, if you haven't already noticed any in this post. I wasn't eating normally anymore. Studying was more important. If I got a problem wrong, then I didn't deserve to eat. Eating was an afterthought, perhaps a reward, for completing the problems. My spirituality was absolutely torn into shreds. My identity wasn't in God, it was in beating the class and what number was on my paper.

My emotions were all over the place. The killer drive has taken over me and placed worries everywhere.

"What if she really is that much smarter than me? I must be worthless if she is doing that much better. I have to do well on this exam and beat everyone or else I'm absolutely worthless. I can't fail, I can't pass.... I have to win! I don't care about anything else anymore, but this one thing, my rank in the class"

I took the final and aced it, but didn't perfect it (139/155, Average = 90/155). I didn't know whether I got the highest grade in the class. Although I did get my first A+, I wasn’t satisfied because of the constant paranoia of not having the highest grade in everything.

For now, the killer drive has left me, which is good.

Does anyone want to help me not procrastinate now? (=p)

Chipotle Opening

2008-03-13T00:15:00.000-07:00

Pictures Taken 02/29/08
Blog Posted: 03/12/08

Hey, so Daniel Lin and I decided to go to Chipotle for the grand opening last week. "Chipot-what?" is probably what your asking. It's a Mexican Create-your-own plate type restaurant in which you can make your burrito/taco/bowl however you want. It's simply amazing, although it doesn't measure up to the authentic Mexican establishments, it's better than everything else.

Authentic Mexican > Chipotle > Everything else (Rubio's, Taco Bell, Baja Fresh etc...)

Quite the long line, but I was craving Chipotle so we went out. I took some pictures, here ya go.

Yes the line hooked around Gamestop.

We got in line at around 12:15pm, and Daniel Lin made an over/under bet with me that we'd get our burritos at 1:15pm. Initially, I said we're going to have to wait until 1:45 PM. Man was I wrong.
We ended up getting our burritos around 12:55, so Daniel Lin essentially owneed me hardcore, like triple kill ownaged me.

We also managed to run into cool people like Enoch in line.

Mission Accomplished

Lunch: $0.

SMashing

2008-03-12T00:21:00.000-07:00

Learning from Hardcore Video Game Playing

So after 5 years of tournament Smash, here’s what I’ve learned

1.) Beating your two friends =/= being the best in the world

Sometimes I get people who walk to me around campus who can beat their small group of friends and then tell me that they could probably beat Ken , Isai (pro smashers) easily. Ironically, this is the mentality I had with smash until I went to a tournament, played real people, and got freakishly owned. Lesson of the day, beating your sister in video game does not qualify you as being a pro at the game.

2.) Everyone has a different play style

My good friend, Brandon, plays Marth, while I play mainly as Sheik. For the longest time, he was my only form of competition for Smash, so I was used to his patterns and tendencies. However, when I tried playing other people’s Marths, I would lose really bad because I was so used to playing my friend that I would expect other people’s Marths to do certain things at certain times, only to see something different, which would lead me to my next point

3.) Learn to adapt

Winning sets against really solid players requires constant adaptation to what your opponent is doing. Is he throwing a lot, when I do an aerial? Maybe, I should try to do an empty and space far away enough so he can’t throw me, and then I should punish the lag from his throw.

(1 minute later)

Hmmm, he’s caught on to what I’m doing, he’s starting to do a smash attack instead of throw in this situations. I should switch to a quick jab to counter his smash.

This is a rather basic example of what goes on in people’s heads while they play a video game competitively. They have to constantly think about their actions and anticipate their opponent based on patterns, tendencies, and previous match history. It’s a lot more than meets the eye.

4.) Be more concerned about your opponent’s actions than your own

This is more of a poker analogy than anything. Often times when I see amateurs play poker, they often complain to me, “Man, I didn’t get any good cards all day, but my friend did. He gets lucky all the time”.

This is a huge logical flaw in approaching poker, games, or anything that involved competitiveness and teams. In poker, the question shouldn’t be I should only bet when I have good cards, rather it should be what my opponent is doing? Do you think he has good cards? “I think he looks weak based on his body movement and physique, maybe a bet will get him off his hand” “I have pocket jacks, although it’s a very strong hand, I think my opponent has an even stronger hand, so I’m going to fold instead of bet here”

In smash, my roommate used to have a huge problem with focusing only on his own character to the point that he wouldn’t pay attention to anything else. This became really noticeable when we played in a teams tournament at UCLA and a Jigglypuff player would do the same “rollout” move, in which Jigglypuff rolls quickly rolls across the stage and hits a person. This move killed him 5 times in one match. I realized that he wasn’t paying attention to his opponents or me on the screen at all, and it ended up costing us the match. After telling him to pay attention to his opponent and surrounding environment more, his game playing got noticeably better.

5.) PRACTICE!!

This is the best advice I can give if you want to be good at a videogame. Your technical skill not up to par? Then, play in training mode and practice the same technical movements over and over until you can do it 99.9% of the time on command. You can’t win a certain matchup as your character? Get friends to help you out with that matchup.

Practicing with friends is also the time when you can practice little nuances and techniques you cannot risk doing in a tournament.

“Can my down-A attack beat out his fireball?”

“Can my recovery counter his smash attack?”

These are the types of things that you can practice at home, but this knowledge is vital if one wishes to excel in a tournament.

Also, talk to friends; discuss weaknesses and strengths you notice about each other. Even record yourself and take note of mistakes and patterns of yourself.

6.) Tournaments last long, wear deodorant and shower!

Many video game tournaments in general last full days, sometimes even weekends. The general demographics for these tournaments are males, so you can imagine how bad it can be when 100 people are in a stuffed hot room. It’s gross. Whenever my friend, Alan, runs a smash tournament, I tell him to remind everyone to shower because it really does smell that bad.

Anyway here are some pictures from my smash career.

UCLA Team for Crew Battles (Fall 2006)

Winning all-hill tournament (UCLA 2008)

PC Cheering Squad (Yay!)

Have some more pictures somewhere

Notable Results
#2 MV Smash Teams tourney w/ Brotter 2005
#4 UCLA Smash All Hill w/ Brotter 2007
#1 UCLA Smash All Hill w/ Aesis 2008

Bowling Night

2008-02-25T19:28:00.000-08:00

02/25/08

We decided to go bowling last Friday night last minute. The bowling was cancelled and then brought back to life by Doris and Daniel Lin. We went to AMF only to see that there were mannnnnnnyyyyy people waiting. It was ridiculous, so we decided to go elsewhere. Little did our car know, we were going down the wrong end of the 405. It wasn't until Daniel Lin called us that we realized we were going the wrong way. Ooops! We finally get their at 12 and play soon after

Group Picture

LOL, look at the name on the bottom right of the string

Gasp! A rare Mike Han picture, and Brian Shi

Speaking of which, Brian Shi is amazing. It was his first time bowling and despite throwing 4 straight gutters, he ended with a score of 86, which beat me. Also keep in mind, that he can't bend his elbow straight due to a physical disability, but that's perseverance. He got 2 strikes and a spare in one round

5th Roomie-isms

2008-02-24T00:12:00.000-08:00

02/24/08
.

So one night, Anita was getting fed up with Jason Lee and put on her evil face

She snuck up behind Jason...

But Jason had ninja reflexes and retaliated

It was too little, too late

This is a joke post, Jason is alive, and girls are not evil

2008-02-21T21:41:00.003-08:00

"Perfection is not what You want, rather, it is my whole undivided heart that You desire"

Epiphony from a Bathroom Story

2008-02-18T23:59:00.000-08:00

2/18/08
I haven't updated in a while, but that's mainly because I was gone all weekend to Norcal with Daniel Lin.

Anyway, we leave Cupertino to come back around 3:30PM. Daniel Lin comes over to pick me up aand my lovely mother insists on me bringing 4, yes FOUR, bottles of water for the driving trip. Thirsty, I decide to drink one full bottle before hitting Gilroy. Bad idea. We hit the 152, which, like always, is heavy with traffic. Bumper to bumper 5 mile an hour traffic. Daniel (Lin) is tired so we decide to switch while we're driving, so I start driving, while Daniel Lin gets a much needed break . We got onto the 152 at 4:15pm, and the water decided to kick in. I had to go pee, badly.

We travel all of 5 miles and it's already 5:15 and man do I have to go pee. Daniel and I agree that we're going to eat at In-n-out for dinner somewhere down the line. He was sleeping at the moment and I absolutely hate taking unnecessary stops. We hit Highway 5 and I kept thinking, "I have to get to In-n-Out, first before I go pee"

Unfortunately, there's no In-n-Out and its' approaching 6pm. I see a sign "Next rest area in 35 miles", while the current stop is right there. Daniel Lin looks at me and notices I'm struggling with my legs and asks if i was okay. I said with an emphatic "NO, I'M NOT OKAY" and we pull into a Chevron/McDonalds. I run out of the car, let Daniel Lin park the car, and went inside, only to see large sea of people waiting for the bathroom.

Oh no, my stomach was crying in pain, and my bladder couldn't hold it anymore. I ran to the line, only to realize that the line was for the women's bathroom. RELIEF, the guy's bathroom is empty and I can relieve myself. Going pee for the first time in 3ish hours was one of the most satisfying moments, and it comes from having to deal with the pain and labor of a full bladder.

So here is the Epiphany Light bulb moment

I also thought of the message of the gospel in it's entity. There's that got milk commercial, where a guy is desperately thirsty, only to see that there's no milk left. He's in pain and agony, and desperately needs something to drink, but the commercial ends before he gets relief.

There's something about the message of the gospel, when we say that God loves us and has freed us from our sin and that He has redeemed us, unless we know what He has redeemed us from, then we struggle to see what the point of Jesus's sacrifice on the cross was. If we fail to see the consequence and pains of sin, we won't know the full satisfaction of the love of Jesus because it's the relief and freedom from bondage that helps us realize the satisfaction and the fullness of love we receive from the cross.

If I didn't know about the struggles of holding 10 gallons of urea, then I wouldn't feel satisfied letting it unload in the Chevron gas station, likewise if I didn't know about the struggles of holding years of sin, then I wouldn't feel satisfied with Jesus Christ.

When we tell people that "God loves you" and that's all we say, we rob the gospel. We take away the message in it's entirety.

anyway, this is my rant post. Sam Kim, if you're reading this, please give me writing lessons.

Happy SAD

2008-02-15T02:52:00.000-08:00

2/15/08
Yes, that's quite the funny title, but when I say SAD, I mean Singles Awareness Day. Unfortunately or fortunately, I do not have a significant other yet in my life, BUT I also have cool friends in PC1 and PC2 that were going out, so I decided to crash their party. (I also didn't have work today, which was awesome)

As usual for PC events, it was mostly a sausage fest with the guys outnumbering the girls like 2:1. Nonetheless, it was great night. Great food with great company is always a blessing. By the way, everyone looked really nice today. Anyway, you readers out there (Yes all 2 of you) probably want to just see the pictures, so here they are.

PS: Whoever went karaoking, by going, you are obligated to be in the pictures I post.

Waiting in the coldddddd wind

I didn't take any dinner pictures, but other people did

Karoaking

Richard

David Chung

Paula

Brian

Steven

Mako

David/Jason

Girls (WHO DIDNT WANT TO SING)

-it's 3am and i'm out

Nothing to offer, yet valued

2008-02-10T21:23:00.000-08:00

2.8.08
Lately, I’ve been flooded with the lies in my head. Stuff like, “I have nothing to offer to PC”. I’m a bigot, a hypocrite, prideful, selfish, and greedy. There I said it. As much as I try to help out, I feel like it’s all about myself and what I do. Conversions carry out about how good I am at something and, honestly, it feels good to feel worthy to be complemented at the things I do. I see the pains, hurts, and struggles in my life and have seen how God and PC people have helped me overcome them whether it be girls, depression, or even the smaller things, you guys have been there.

I’m laden with guilt as I see the mantle in PC is being passed down to the underclassmen .The 411 team, Jaeson, and many others such as Mako and Enoch are going to be gone before a matter of time. Bernice and Mats are going to be gone. I have to step it up. Here I am, I want to help, but are these mere words that bare no fruit because I lack motivation and the driving force of love.

And that’s my relationship with God as of now as well.

I am the prodigal walking away from the glories of God, living and suffering eating among the pigs, not wanting to see the father anymore. I feel shameful. I took what God has given me in my inheritance, talents, and abilities and squandered it. I have nothing left to give back, but in order to get back to the father, I must make it up to him. I have to do something, work my way back.

Bring myself back worth in his eyes…

Pay back what I stole…

Put myself into slavery...

Anything…

Everything….

And it’s breaking down these lies that becomes the hard part. As head knowledge dictates that God loves me no matter what. “He’s waiting for me”. There’s the conclusion that the prodigal son receives unconditional love from the father in the parable. My heart is a paradigm. As in society, when you want something, you have to earn it. That’s how I’ve been brought up. I want a new game, I’ll earn it. I want to go to Hawaii? I’ll earn it.

Grace is free. Forgiveness from God is not earned.

Hate feeling emo.

Dumpling Night

2008-02-02T01:20:00.000-08:00

2/1/08

At Daniel Lin's apartment, Daniel decided to have us over for a dumpling night. Yum!

Our target

Mission: To wrap this marinated pork/onion combo into its wonton covering

Teammates

Codename: Doongggggg

Codename: Dori

Codename: DYL

Codename: Anitaburp

Codename: Berylroll

Codename:Tau

Briefing
The wrapping will be vicious and tiring. Fingers may be contaminated with flour, but if we succeed, we will enjoy the yummy goodness of wontons and be able to share with our friends these special delicacies.

Attempt #1
Jason Lee decides to butt (spelled incorrectly on purpose) in and disaster strikes

Oh no, it's not covered correctly! Jason must be punished

Jason has to eat his own mess, hehe.

Attempt #2

oh my gosh, the girls, especially Beryl, was on a roll with these dumplings. These look super special awesome.

Verdict?

Alyson: What are you looking at? They're my potstickers
Anita: MMMMmmm potsticker goodness. Good thing I brought my sauce

Skim: Just wait a moment, I'm enjoying the savory goodness of these little things.

Mats: I'm having a moment with my potstickers now

Thao: They're almost as good as bearded papas! (not really, but close!)
Caroline: Thumbs up!

Sophia: Having a great time!
Bernice: My smile says how I feel about tonight

Conclusion?
Very great night, thanks Daniel Lin for inviting us over. Thanks for buying the food and preparing it.

Rest well tonight, DYL

Robusto Session

2008-01-31T17:54:00.000-08:00

1/31/08

Yay, I hit a big heater in the $15+1 sngs.
# of sngs: 18
# hrs played: 1.5
ROI: 104%
$ made: $300
Hourly: $200/hr

Ship it

Study, Smash, Love

2008-01-31T00:33:00.000-08:00

1/30/08

Here's a typical day of quantum chem.

Deriving the Schrodinger's equation with respect to space

Smash
Today was the Super Smash Melee Tournament in De Neve. I was teamed up with Alan (Aesis), who is the best guy on campus. I was a little nervous at first because that puts alot of pressure on me to do well, especially since I invited alot of PC people. The first couple of rounds were easy with us winning by an average of 3-5 stock. The later rounds however, let's let picture describe it.

Intense (these were the semifinal matches, notice the big crowd and daniel lin to the right)

Fortunately, I had cool cats supporting me the whole way through.

Steven Daniel

Sarah,Bernice, Steven

The matches in the semi finals and beyond were really close. I'm glad we pulled through with double sheik. We managed to win the tournament.

Me/Alan with our prizes (i look stoned)

Man you guys are so awesome. The cheers and support were well appreciated.

Shoutouts
Alan - You're the best partner ever!
Bernice, Enoch, Steven, Daniel Lin, David Chung, Stephen Hop, Missy, Terrence, Sarah -Thanks for supporting me the whole way through. It really does help and makes me really loved =)
Scott/Alex - congrats on 2nd again.

I love you guys.

PC Studying

2008-01-30T00:27:00.000-08:00

1/29/08
It's funny how I always run into PC people when I'm doing work. I was doing some work in the De Neve Dungeon and notice Paula is also studying in the area. She looked dead tired. I was supposed to watch over her laptop, but I had to leave. I hope it didn't get stolen, and if it did, sorry!

Vita Water!

A really tired Paula

Later today, I decided to study with the PC2 crew. I didn't know PC2 had so many new guys. It's an interesting site to be in, especially when you have people like David Chung and Richard. With them in the same study room, it makes it hard for everyone to study, but it's very funny watching their mannerisms.

On the other hand, Brian Shi is very studious as is Josh.

David, you're a funny man.

Good Food and Good Company

2008-01-30T00:16:00.000-08:00

1/28/08

I like eating good food especially around good company. Daniel Lin, Bernice, and I decide to go eat some yummy korean food for dinner last night. We ended up choosing to go to Tofuya because Bernice being the busy girl she is had some sort of meeting.

I don't know what it is about these two fabulous people that makes it so awesome. Maybe our group dynamics? We seem to have great conversation together and love being with each other. Seriously, these two really cheer me up whenever I meet them. I don't quite know what it is.

Bernice is inhaling some Mario shrooms. Tsk Tsk

Poker Update

2008-01-29T23:59:00.000-08:00

Today, I decided to take another stab at the $15+1 sngs. I started off real bad, making some bad pushes and overall not calling pushes when I should have. In addition, losing 4/6 60-40s and 5/7 50-50 allin situations didn't help too much. I ended up slowing down a bit and playing 6-8 tables instead of my usual 18 at a time. I'm starting to adjust to it finally.

Profits
January 2008: +$606
Hours Played: 56 hours
Hourly Wage: $10.82
Current FPP Status: 9500 (Saving up for a PS3?)

Remind me not to play cash games anymore.
-Daniel Lee

New to the Blog Thing

2008-01-25T22:20:00.000-08:00

Hey, I'm going to start posting on this blog about random things that pertain to my life (College stories, events, classes, work, poker etc...)
Hope it all goes well