Inadequacy and dating (in the PC context)

Sometimes I wonder in the midst of my brokenness, why me God? Why have you chosen to die for me? Why did you choose me to know so much about Your goodness and Your love? Why are you handing authority to me as Your hands and feet when You know my weaknesses and my sins? You know me in my low points, yet You want me to be a testimony of Your glory? How does that work, God? I’m confused.

In these moments, I ponder again and again why God moves the way he does. I picture God to be perfect and flawless. Once again, those are attributes of God. In these realizations, I do not want to taint or mess up anything about my perfect Father and King. Whether the task maybe doing ministry in church or trying to explain how awesome He is to people, I am worried and scared that I’m not the “right” person for the job and that I will screw up.

I grew up as a clutz. I remember the times when I would drop food everywhere and have people scream to me on how unreliable I was. I had people belittle me constantly saying that I did not hold up to some certain standard whether it was following in the footsteps of my brother or failing to meet expectations in general.

God’s funny sometimes. I have to constantly be reminded by Him that my failures are okay. In scripture, He says that He is actually made strong in my weakness and that we are a working masterpiece.

I write this to not get pity; rather I wonder if this mindset of inadequacy seeps into how we view members of the opposite sex within Passion Church (PC). Overall, I feel a strong sense of admiration towards everyone in PC. Never before have I seen a group of people who are so passionate for the Lord. I have learned much about many aspects of our Father through PC. With the women of PC, I have a strong sense of respect. They have valued the Lord so much in their life, choosing Him as their first love. I’m not saying that PC people are perfect, but they sure are amazing.

Anyway, I wonder if when a person does have feelings of love/romance towards the other gender, then feelings of inadequacy come in, preventing a person from pursuing his or her crush.

“I want to date her, but I’m not good enough”

Okay, maybe a person might not outright say that. Let’s change it

“I want to date her, but I’m not ready to date her. Her priority is with God. I do not want to screw up her relationship with God. She is so awesome and talented too, but I’m worried that I might distract her from her relationship with God.”

This is more subtly said in the minds of PC people (in my opinion). I think one of the reasons people don’t want to date is because of the fear that they are not good enough for their crushes. The feeling of inadequacy seeps in, trying to justify and prevent romance from every happening between pairs of very qualified people.

Not only do you have to encourage and edify the body, but at moment’s time take a step back and look at the mighty works that God does in your life. God moves inside of each one of us in so many awesome ways. Sometimes, we tend to forget that when God is moving on other people marvelously, He is also doing a mighty work in us, whether we believe it or not.

What are your thoughts?